News Flash - Hot Flash

ugh-o! The hot flashes have hit. I'm 57. My mother never had them. I thought I'd escaped the strange somatic phenomena. But, no. They started about 6 - 8 weeks ago. Night after night, I fall asleep under my down and within hours, am kicking it off like I'm suffocating. I need a plastic wrap around my mattress like an old person to protect the new mattress from my sweat. During the day, I turn beet red, sweat like LeBron James in the playoffs and lose all capacity for concentration.

I am seeing my acupuncturist. He swears he has saved women going through menopause from the wrath of their children, husbands, and sometimes entire towns by calming the overwhelmingly icky symptoms which makes you just crabby.

It seems to have taken over my life. My eyes are puffy. I was actually caught putting frozen spoons on them this morning to shrink the puffiness. Unfortunately, I almost peeled the skin off my lids because the frozen metal was so cold, it practically stuck to the skin! Lee saw me and threatened to call a mental institution. I am not sleeping of course because I awaken every 2 hours drenched in sweat, with my blood pressure rising. (Yes, I can feel it!) It makes me sad or something - that my dear husband will think less of me as a lover. He says I'm being silly. But, still, you kind of wonder. Crazed, sweaty woman without periods. Does that sound attractive? I know it is dumb. Men go through their own "menopause" too. I call it "mAnopause."

Whatever. It bugs me. Usually acupuncture does the trick - I'm still working with it. If you have any great tips, let me know.