Mea culpa- for Doug
I met an "old" friend for coffee this afternoon in NYC.
Doug was my first main boyfriend. Circa 1967? Really? We were both into acting. We were both 14 years old, I think. We dated off and on through high school. He went to Iowa (way cool.) I went to Iowa State. (not so much.) We experimented with long distance relationship. And then he told me he was gay, after all. It was a bummer at 19, but god love him. We are still friends...what...35 years later? We see each other every couple years and pick up where we left off. Either at a class reunion or in NY where he comes to the gift shows. He told me today that he missed my blogging. That is how he stays in contact with me. He told me, quite poignantly, that he sees my blog as a love letter to Lee.
I can't really tell you why I haven't been writing - because if feels even too personal for this. It's been a dark summer. But, clouds are parting, and I need to write again. When my daily stories feel too intimate, I struggle with sharing them. I struggle with who I am as a designer. Do I really need / want to share this with clients? No, I don't. I am seeing that Alecia, the writer, is not Alecia, the designer. If someone happens to appreciate both....great. But, it is not a marketing strategy. I write because I am compelled to write. And yet, I have taken this hiatus because I felt I was silenced and had nothing I could say that was meaningful in a way that I could tell them. I had too much to tell, but it was not a sassy little blog post that could meet it. This has been a difficult summer, but I trust that new doors are opening.
Suffice it to say....I'm sorry for my absence, but hadda' be.
I may be separating my blog from my website. My design work is so fulfilling, but in such a different realm. It is sensate and material. Writing is intuitive and emotional. I may very soon be creating a dual persona, as I mention above.....Alecia, the designer will be at www.aleciastevens.com. Alecia, the writer, will be at www.aleciastevens.blogspot.com. I'll keep you posted.
Don't have much else to say now....but I will be back, I'm pretty sure.
And thanks for anyone who has continued to check for posts and not given up on me.
love.
alecia
Doug was my first main boyfriend. Circa 1967? Really? We were both into acting. We were both 14 years old, I think. We dated off and on through high school. He went to Iowa (way cool.) I went to Iowa State. (not so much.) We experimented with long distance relationship. And then he told me he was gay, after all. It was a bummer at 19, but god love him. We are still friends...what...35 years later? We see each other every couple years and pick up where we left off. Either at a class reunion or in NY where he comes to the gift shows. He told me today that he missed my blogging. That is how he stays in contact with me. He told me, quite poignantly, that he sees my blog as a love letter to Lee.
I can't really tell you why I haven't been writing - because if feels even too personal for this. It's been a dark summer. But, clouds are parting, and I need to write again. When my daily stories feel too intimate, I struggle with sharing them. I struggle with who I am as a designer. Do I really need / want to share this with clients? No, I don't. I am seeing that Alecia, the writer, is not Alecia, the designer. If someone happens to appreciate both....great. But, it is not a marketing strategy. I write because I am compelled to write. And yet, I have taken this hiatus because I felt I was silenced and had nothing I could say that was meaningful in a way that I could tell them. I had too much to tell, but it was not a sassy little blog post that could meet it. This has been a difficult summer, but I trust that new doors are opening.
Suffice it to say....I'm sorry for my absence, but hadda' be.
I may be separating my blog from my website. My design work is so fulfilling, but in such a different realm. It is sensate and material. Writing is intuitive and emotional. I may very soon be creating a dual persona, as I mention above.....Alecia, the designer will be at www.aleciastevens.com. Alecia, the writer, will be at www.aleciastevens.blogspot.com. I'll keep you posted.
Don't have much else to say now....but I will be back, I'm pretty sure.
And thanks for anyone who has continued to check for posts and not given up on me.
love.
alecia
Believe me - I completely understand how difficult it can be to keep up with blogging. Sometimes because you're not feeling up to it, sometimes because not everything is meant for sharing, sometimes just that you'd rather be doing something else! And then the people who have come to rely on their regular glimpse into your life get sad. But they keep coming back. This I do know.
ReplyDeleteTake the time you need. Make the separation you need. Do what is right for YOU and your followers will still follow. You are loved.
I too understand. I have to say I was thrilled to find a new post when I checked this morning. I have often wondered about the sharing/mixing of both business and private worlds in many blogs I read. I started here for the design and kept coming back for the writing. So either way I'm in, I'm a supporter.
ReplyDelete