Saturday, August 3, 2013

WHAT THE F....K? Why are women so slow when they use a public restroom?

What the f...k is it about women in a public bathroom? What? How can it possibly take so long? Are they shaving their legs in there? plucking their gray hairs? What the f....k?

I was at Burch Pizza restaurant tonight and needed the restroom after many perfectly filled glasses of water and one very good margarita and I swear I stood there for several minutes, with one other woman standing there after me! I felt really bad for her because it seemed she really needed a restroom, but, hey, I did too and I'd been waiting way too long already.

I am at the point of crossing my legs and leaning against the wall trying to shed all tension from my body in an effort to de-emphasize the urge to pee.

Finally some little twit of a woman in a skirt that was way too short (had I been her mother) prances out like Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer on extremely high heels. What the f...k again...? What was she doing in there? The only difference between a man and a woman peeing is the wiping. How long does that take? And can't you just have it ready to go - there in your hand? Can't you get the toilet paper while you are peeing? Multi-task, for god's sake. There are people waiting!

The other day I was at a restaurant and there were 3 women waiting in the hall for the john and thankfully, one of them was a chef and she pointed to the men's room right there, completely empty! DUh! and said, "You can use that." So, I did.

If there is one toilet and one door that locks, what's with the Men / Women thing anyway? (or god forbid, "Gents" and "Madames.") Who cares? I share a bathroom with men at home.

But, in the end, women, get a grip. Pee. Do your primping another time, another place. People are behind you. Waiting. And definitely thinking really bad things about you. And this is not good for the species.

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