Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Chasing Pavements


Scene from a Charleston Garden. Magic.

I have a habit, maybe a couple times a month, of just doing nothing in the evening when I am in Minneapolis and alone. I open a bottle of wine (yes, I drink alone), have a glass, then think about dinner, pour another glass to cook by and because my stomach is mostly empty at this point, am mildly and delightfully intoxicated on this amount of wine. I put in my headphones, tuck my iphone in my pocket, crank up the tunes and get to work in the kitchen and dance while I cook, occasionally glancing at the shadow of myself in the windows on the north, which show the ghost of a figure moving in rhythm to the music. This is not something I have ever admitted to. My husband doesn't even know I do this. This is something I only do in private. Not that I am embarrassed to dance. I LOVE to dance. But where do you dance anymore?

So I finally uploaded (or is it downloaded?) Chasing Pavements and it is almost a slow disco sound. It sent me dancing from the refrigerator to the stove, sauteeing the broccoli to the beat. It transported me back to the Garden and Gun Club (not kidding - but there were no gardening sheers or rifles to be seen, I promise) in Charleston , SC where I lived in the late '70's and early '80's and went dancing regularly. It was that time of life that was magical because love was everything, I was in my late 20's (and if you don't look good then, when will you look good?) I was discovering a whole new culture in the South. And, on occasion, I was discovering myself. And this beautiful song reminds me of that discovery and of that time when love meant everything - as it does to the woman in the song.

So, when I hear the words to Chasing Pavements, "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements - even if it leads nowhere?" I wonder, "Who is to judge where nowhere is?" I have chased plenty of pavements. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I guess it's time to get out - find a place to go dancing and take Lee with me. I've passed along the gold sandals and red viscose disco dress, but not my love of dancing - nor of chasing pavements. And to this day, there is nothing more delicious than love - of your partner, your children, your work. Come to think of it, love still means everything to me.

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