This is a little risky, but I've had an idea recently - while listening to melancholic songs from my past (really, Jimmy Buffet and Emmylou Harris) raising memories that look like smoke rings of sweetness, reveries to the past with a profound appreciation for the present. The good news is that my marriage is secure enough to withstand these blasts from the past. (In fact, last night at Pizzeria Lola Lee serenaded me when Billy Joel came on the sound system singing "I Love You Just the Way You Are." If you had seen me last night, you would understand this has a literal interpretation. Standing next to the big pizza oven on our way out, he stopped mid-step until the song was done with mini kissing sessions during the song. I told him, "Honey, people are going to think we are really wack-o." His response...."Who cares? What did Steve Jobs have to say about embarrassment?")
Who could argue with that kind of romance?
I am so aware of how much my marriage and love has meant to me. Other than my children, nothing matters more than my relationship to the man I love. (Work is a very, very close second, which is a whole Freudian matter, and an important one and worthy of its own post - or book!) They have been the yang to my yin - or sometimes the yin to my yang. Men have consoled, worshipped, challenged, loved, adored and befriended me. They have also resisted and been weary of me. I can only imagine the muddy waters I have stirred. But I also can say how much I appreciate the kindness I have received in love.
So....I have this idea that we - women - okay, fine, men too - should compose some essays / paragraphs / just a few words (some people are terrified to imagine that they would have to write an essay or a paragraph!) about the men that made a difference and what the qualities were that mattered. They are probably the men that we married, the men that changed what we needed, that led to the men we married, the men who believed in us, who adored us, who pampered us. I just want to know what the qualities are that matter and how they live in the world.
I want to hear your stories!!!! I will get up the courage to write mine soon. In the meantime, please be noodling on this. I'm thinking this is a book!
THE MEN WHO MATTERED.....they mattered because they.....fill in the blank! I can do this anonymously if you need it... :-)