April Fool's Day was yesterday. But it didn't occur to me until midnight that my April Fool's joke could be that I was quitting my blogging for good. I'm NOT! I miss it and I'm blogging again and it will be a miracle if anyone knows it and follows me again. But I'm not past begging.....
Here's the real story.
At the time I quit my blog in January, I thought something was wrong with me. I was bored. I felt pressured to write. I felt I couldn't live up to what I had created. But the truth, I now realize, had nothing to do with my blog or my blogging.
I had a shitty late summer, fall and early winter 2012. I had a project that stressed me out (and was very poorly managed by the contractor.) I honestly can say that has never happened until this past year and I had lots of excuses about why it was happening , but in the end, the clients and the contractor just weren't very nice people. They weren't really the kind of people I had worked with in the past nor are they the kind of people I ever want to work with again.
The quality of my life was so thin, so meek, so shallow and I was so tired and crabby giving everything I had to please them and in the end I couldn't and am not sure anyone could. I was insecure and angry, really, and I never want to be in that position in my life again.
I am no longer working with them and I am so much happier, and light-hearted and attentive to the few clients who mean the world to me. I am so much more organized, have hired a charming and smart assistant, have purged my office of any and everything to do with the unpleasant client and feel a sense of renewal. Ask my husband. I took 2 days off last week to write, have written an essay that I feel good about and will submit, have said no to at least one design job because it wasn't a fit for me, have spent time with my mom who needs me right now and am going to Charleston for a week, my first vacation in one year, to hang with Isabelle (daughter) and my friends Tami and Frank and eat our way through the Holy City. (Lee hoping to golf his way through it) next week. And I love my work again.
Now if I could only shed the physical winter weight - as I've shed the psychological weight. Oh, well...I've got Zappos on speedial these days - searching for the perfect summer shoes and sunglasses.
I'm all about happy this time of year. Give me painted toes, shaven legs, new shoes, a good haircut and color, love, a good man, good friends and something to get up for each day. Too much intensity for way too long. I feel like dancing to some Jimmy Buffet or Earth, Wind and Fire. But need to go find my shoulder pads for that!
Hope I can get some of you back. I've so missed my relationships with my readers. Thanks for any time you can spend here with me!